Job 19-20
Job’s story not only highlights the human tendency to criticize others but also reminds us that judgment often says more about the one judging than the one being judged. Inspired by the Let Them Theory, this post explores how we can break free from both casting and receiving judgment—embracing peace instead of validation.
Summary
Job asks his friends why they continue to insult him. He reminds them that if he did err, that was his business. Do they feel better about themselves to claim that Job deserves the suffering God has inflicted on him? Job expresses deep sorrow over his suffering and the abandonment he feels from his friends, family, and God. Despite his despair, Job makes a powerful declaration of faith, “For I know that my Redeemer lives and at last he will stand upon the earth.”
Zophar, one of Job’s friends, responds harshly, insisting that sinners will face swift destruction. He describes how the prosperity of the wicked is short-lived, and their punishment is inevitable. Evil, selfish people are never satisfied, even when they have plenty. Zophar implies that Job’s suffering is a result of wrongdoing, reinforcing the idea that divine justice is unavoidable.
Sidebar
Job wonders if his own misery makes his friends feel better about themselves. Do you ever feel as though someone is delighted in your misery? Some people judge and criticize others as a way to boost their own self-esteem. This behavior can stem from insecurity, comparison, or even a learned habit from childhood. When someone feels inadequate, they may put others down to create a false sense of superiority. It’s a defense mechanism—by focusing on others’ flaws, they avoid confronting their own.
Judging can also be a way to gain social acceptance. In some groups, mocking or criticizing others can create a sense of belonging, reinforcing the idea that judgment is a tool for social bonding. However, this behavior often leads to negative energy and damaged relationships. This conjures up experiences from high school. We also see it in the comments on social media.
On the flip side, being on the receiving end of judgment is not easy. When someone has something negative to say about us, it can cause pain and trigger unresolved insecurities within ourselves. The instinct could be to believe them or simply block them out of your life. Refusing to interact with a negative person sounds lovely, but it’s not always the feasible option (e.g., your boss, spouse, parent).
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins suggests that when people judge you, the best approach is to simply let them. Instead of wasting energy trying to change their opinions or seeking validation, focus on what truly matters—your own growth and happiness. Robbins emphasizes that their judgments are often more about them than about you. Don’t internalize it – other’s opinions don’t define your worth. So, if someone criticizes your choices, doubts your abilities, or misunderstands you, let them.
Intention
Break free from judgmental tendencies—whether you’re the one judging or on the receiving end.
If you’re judging…Practice empathy. Everyone has struggles and insecurities. Instead of criticizing someone, consider what they might be going through.
If you’re on the receiving end…The opinions of others don’t define you. Attempting to control how others perceive you is exhausting and unnecessary. Try practicing the Let Them theory and detach from external negativity. Prioritize your inner peace.
