Genesis 35-36
This post explores how grief can be catalyst for reconciliation. A parallel is drawn between the biblical reunion of Jacob and Esau at their father’s burial and Prince William and Prince Harry’s reunion at their grandfather’s funeral. Let’s consider the sad beauty in shared mourning—even when lasting closeness remains out of reach.
Summary
Genesis 35: Jacob’s Return to Bethel and Family Events
Jacob returns to Bethel, instructed by God. Bethel is a significant place where Jacob first encountered God. Jacob commands his household to put away foreign gods, purify themselves, and change their clothes to prepare for worship. Upon arrival at Bethel, Jacob builds an altar and prays to God. God appears to him again, renewing the covenant promise and formally changing his name from Jacob to Israel.
Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, passes away. They bury her under an oak tree and call it Oak of Crying. Rachel gives birth to Benjamin but dies during childbirth. Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn son, has a transgression with Bilhah, Jacob’s servant woman. Finally, Isaac dies at 180 years old, and Jacob and Esau reunite to bury him.
Genesis 36: The Descendants of Jacob and Esau
Jacob had 12 sons: With Leah – Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun. With Rachel – Joseph and Benjamin. With Bilhah – Dan and Naphtali. And with Zilpah – Gad and Asher. All were born in Northwest Mesopotamia.
Esau had 5 sons: With Adah – Eliphaz. With Oholibamah – Jeush, Jalam, Korah. And with Basemath – Reuel. All were born in Canaan. Esau decides to leave his father’s land with his wives and belongings. He felt as though the land was not large enough to accommodate his family and belongings as well as Jacob’s. Esau moved to the mountains of Edom.
The chapter continues to list the grandchildren and establish the clans and chiefs of Edom. It details the geographic expansion of Esau’s family and the leadership structure among his descendants. The genealogy emphasizes the separation between Jacob’s lineage (Israel) and Esau’s lineage (Edom), highlighting the emergence of two distinct nations.
Sidebar
Jacob and Esau have had such a complicated relationship. In their early years, Jacob stole Esau’s blessing. Esau was murderously angry, so Jacob left home. After much time apart, Jacob reached out to Esau and received his brother’s forgiveness. Esau asked Jacob to travel to his home, but Jacob settled elsewhere. Ultimately, they reunited for Isaac’s death. In the end, the brothers did not remain in the same country. Esau decided there was not enough space in their country for the both of them.
After years of estrangement, Jacob and Esau came together to bury their father. It’s a moment of shared humanity, even if it doesn’t lead to lasting closeness. This type of subtle reconciliation is common among fractured families. Grief, and even celebrations like weddings and babies, can bring families together for reflection. Bereavement can instigate thoughtful conversations. At times, it may lead to healing and renewed relationships. On the flip side, it may just be enough for honoring a legacy and moving on with grace.
Prince William and Prince Harry come to mind when considering this dynamic. They have been estranged since 2018. In April 2021, they came together with their father for a meeting after their grandfather Prince Philip’s funeral. Unfortunately, the meeting did not heal the rift. Still, the brothers came together in shared mourning to honor their beloved grandfather.
The royal brothers still live in separate countries, but Prince Harry has expressed an interest in reuniting and mending his relationship with his father and brother. Hopefully, they can move past the pain of the past and reconcile for the sake of their peace and their children.
Intention
Sometimes grief can strip away pride, ego and old narratives. If you are faced with the loss of a loved one and consequently, the reconciliation of an estranged relationship, try to stand beside them anyway…not necessarily to fix the past, but to honor what was. Grief can be a holy ground for reconciliation, even if only for a moment. Or maybe even permanently.
